Wednesday, September 10, 2014

To blog or not to blog?

That is the ultimate question isn't it?  

But another good question is, why do I blog? 

That one I think should be a bit easier to answer, but somehow it isn't.  Weird right?    

I started this blog to:
-Get better at writing.
-To share experiences with others who just might be able to relate.
-To get stuff out of my head that sometimes keeps me up at night.
-To have fun.

I then started many Blog post "drafts" with different categories and topics that I might be able to expand upon, although every time I started to write about one I would get blocked and to critical over things like: 
- Will anyone relate?
- Does this sound stupid?
- What if nobody likes it or me for that matter?

I try to be so bad ass on the outside like it doesn't matter to me if anyone likes me.  But don't we all want someone to like us?   I want to "fit in" just as much as anyone else.  

The risk of being judged and treated badly is huge yet I want to put myself out there, I just don't want to be told I am not good enough!  That scares the shit out of me!!   Being told I am just not good enough is just awful in my opinion and I have enough trouble getting out of my own head without others crawling up in there to berate me and tell me I suck at something I just really want to learn to do.   

I am not perfect and I know I will most likely piss some people off in the process.  But as the old saying goes, "To thine own self be true".   I must be true to myself.   
If people hate it they don't have to read or follow my blog.   But if they do like something I have to say then I could accomplish something I have always lived for and that is to help someone not feel alone and that there is someone out there who "gets it".   

My punctuation won't be perfect, hell it is probably horrific.  But if I can get my thoughts out maybe then I won't be so anxious.   Who knows, I could learn something as well in the process.  

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