What will I be remembered for??

Have you ever posed this question to yourself?  

I know I have many times over my almost 48 years on this big blue rock.  There have been times when I really feel like I know definitively who I am, or actually who I am growing to become.  I am one of those people who gets excited about trying new things.  (within reason of course because I am a mom and a scaredy cat I don't put myself into too many precarious or dangerous situations).    

At this moment as I am typing this sitting at my desk, outside my window we have several bird feeders.  There are two baby House Finches sitting in a bush just below the feeder.   The mother Finch is at the feeder picking out the best seeds. She then hops down onto the bush near the baby birds and they flap their little wings frantically, I can only guess this is to get their momma's attention so she can feed them.  They open their beaks so big and wide and very carefully and gracefully the momma bird places food into their mouths.  Now I know they are birds but do they think their momma bird plays favorites?  Do you think they worry if one gets more food than the other?   I know as a mom, my kids have often thought both of those things, even though they aren't true.  I really do love my kids all equally.   They are all different in many ways and also quite the same in several other ways.  

But, I do love them all the same!  

Seeing all the young fledgling birds in the yard lately really makes me think about how wonderful being a parent is.  It also reminds me how scary it can be at the same time. These tiny versions of their parents, trying to fly straight, eat at a feeder like their parents do and balancing precariously on a tiny branch waiting and hoping that mom and/or dad brings them some food to keep them growing and maturing so that one day they may be able to pro-create and be the one who is leading the way for their own brood.  

I too want to lead the way.  I want to be the confident momma bird who not only sustains my babies lives by feeding them and keeping them safe from predators but, I also want to be the confident momma who doesn't even flinch when my babies fly off and just barely miss hitting a window. This little bird really impressed me.  She seemed so calm, cool and collected.  I aspire to be that kind of mom.   Although at this moment I am so very far away from being even remotely un-anxious about life and the world outside of our protective nest.  

Becoming a grandparent doesn't make anything easier, it actually increases the anxiety.  We want our kids to have a better life than we had and protect them from the mistakes we made as young people.  We want things to be easier for them.  But why doesn't it seem like it is??   To me, as my kids get older I feel as if I have more to worry about.  Like that momma bird, she has to let her babies leave the nest and fly on their own.  Eventually she stops feeding them and they are left to fend for themselves.  If they cannot learn to find food and water they eventually will cease to exist.  

That is the part that makes me so scared and causes me the most anxiety!  What if I haven't taught them enough to survive?  
What prompts us to all of a sudden just question the thing we have been doing for so many years?    

Do I have a case of writers block??

Or, am I just not doing it right?   

I ask this question because, although my lovely family gives me so much material to write about, I often question whether blog readers or anyone else for that matter really gives a rip about what my family is doing.   

I second guess myself and sit staring absently out the window.   I begin to ask myself, "do other writes have this problem?"   "Does anyone else have trouble keeping track of all the things they want to write about throughout the day?"   

For instance, it always seems that when I have something I find informative, funny or even educational as I go about my day I am just never near my computer.  Not only that but really funny stuff happens in the car of course I am driving and can't write it down or make a note in my phone.  Sometimes I have my hubby take notes on his phone and he will email it to me.   Of course by the time I get to it I had forgotten what context the whole thing happened in and I don't end up writing about it because......I don't want to look like a complete idiot.   

*SIGH*

Most days I feel as if I am being pulled in so many different directions.  My mind races faster than my hands can type.   One thought or idea melds with another and then I am totally stumped and can't for the life of me put the brakes on all the swirling thoughts swimming through my brain matter.  

Maybe I have dyed my hair too many times in my life and I just can't focus, or maybe I have developed late onset ADHD and that is my focus issue.   
Perhaps it is just because I am a mom and have so much information in my brain at any given time about everyone and everything that I just can't find my focus anymore.    

No matter what it is I am finding that I really need to work on being more "mindful".   
Being mindful is a great way to retrain the brain to let go of the noise that often fills up our brains.   I had done this before and it did seem to help especially with anxiety.  

Being a control freak/worrier has given me plenty of anxiety for sure!  So I learned how to be mindful.   

(I guess I just haven't been practicing it enough lately, note to self...get back to being mindful).   

Hormones and the ability to remember...

Do hormonal girls forget how they were when they were pre-teens??   

I keep wondering if I was as annoying as my 11 year old is!!   

I don't recall my younger pre-period self being so obnoxious and downright bitchy!!   Hey, maybe I was but I don't recall it for sure.  Is there something in our biological makeup that allows us to forget these things?   

I am assuming it would be whatever chemical process that allows us as mom's to forget the pain of contractions and child birth, well temporarily anyway at least till we pop out another screaming, poop/puke machine!!  

After the first contraction I was like..."oh yea, I forgot how much labor and delivery sucks!!"   

Sure makes me glad that I am not having any more kids.   Labor and delivery is for the young and full of energy.   Not me, middle aged and mentally drained from dealing with teen boy and pre-teen girl angst!!  

Every time they get all "angsty" I just want to run and lock myself in our bedroom with a beer, nachos and chocolate till it all is quiet.   

I am sure I can't be alone in the angstyness....Please share in the comments below!!   

~Melissa aka-Imperfect Mom~ 

Can we talk about SEX for a minute?

So many people see that 3 letter word S.E.X and they cringe and cover their kids eyes and ears.   I came from a family that never talked about any of that stuff.  I think it is a shame that many parents just hide the fact that humans are sexual beings.  We educate our children about other "adult" things like smoking, drinking and drugs, why not teach them about sexual health and the consequences that can happen to them if they choose to try things out too early in life.  

 When my mom told me about my period, she handed me a friggin pamphlet and told me to read it.  I was terrified.....I cried and wondered, "why does this have to happen to me"!!  I thought I was alone, like it was only going to happen to me because I had something wrong with me.   Even when I had questions I didn't feel comfortable asking my mom let alone anyone else.  So I went through a big part of my life being scared of naturally occurring things. 

That is why I vowed to always be open and honest about bodily functions, sex, and how to stay healthy.   We have openly discussed everything with our kids.
Now, don't get all freaked out, it isn't like we are inviting them into our bedroom and showing them how we do it!!  I am not some creepy perv!!  We use clinical terms and only give them as much information as they can handle and they feel comfortable coming to us with questions.

Have you seen what some of these young kids look like nowadays??  

They are developing faster physically and society pushes them to be so much more grown up than they are.  My kids have even told me stories about kids in their school who may be sexually active and I want my kids to be armed with the facts.  We discuss how to stay safe, and since we have a 14 yr old son and a premenstrual 11 yr old  it is imperative to keep our kids healthy and safe!!  Not to mention keeping them from becoming pregnant or getting someone pregnant, or getting some disease!!  We are not pushing sex on our kids, rather the message we drive home each time they have questions is that it is best to abstain until they are married ideally, or until they are much more mentally mature and ready to take on the responsibility.   We do not take it lightly at all.

Our goal is to give them facts, based on our personal experience as well as statistics as they are available from places like the CDC and health care professionals.   Arm yourself and your kids with knowledge.  If you don't know the answer to a question they have, look it up together.  No shame in admitting you don't know something.  

Sex is fun!! 

Our bodies are wonderful and complex things!!   

Being honest with kids about these things really allows for them to avoid being misinformed by their peers.   All kids talk to other kids about things like that.  I know I did.   

Some of the weird stuff I heard and later found out is just not true is mind boggling.   I wonder how many "false" stories there are out there?  
If you have any please share in the comments....would love to hear what other people heard when they were younger.  Don't be embarrassed, all women are the same and all men are the same.  We all come in different shapes, sizes and colors but physiologically we are all the same. 

Here are a couple I heard growing up :

"If you have sex standing up in the shower you can't get pregnant"  FALSE!!!

"You can't get pregnant if it is your first time"   FALSE, FALSE, FALSE!!!

Okay...now you share some that you may have heard.....GO!!